so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
