do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You left your underwear on the fireplace
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I deserve this hangover.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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