Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
