you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
