my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
