All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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