No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
