i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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