I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
