If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nicole vs. Life
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
