Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
