K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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