If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
