he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
