Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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