What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
