I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
