Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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