I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
