everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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