i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
