Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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