he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
