No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm too high and old for this...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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