You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
