im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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