the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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