I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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