It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
