perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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