Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Blood and glitter go together right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
