Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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