Your tits are I can't wait for
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
