So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
