I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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