he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
