My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
