I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
