the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
