U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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