Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
