I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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