Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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