So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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