It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
