Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
