Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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