ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
