let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
