I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
