If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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