I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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