now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
